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I Hate Green Beans: August 2007

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

It's Not Easy Being Green

Just got back from seeing Wicked in LA. Might I say that Megan Hilty and Eden Espinosa are absolutely amazing. not walk to see this show.

It didn't even bother me that the old man next to me asked why the audience was cheering "the green girl" when she hadn't done anything. Or the fact that two of the tallest beings on the planet naturally sat in front of me. Or that the lady's thigh on my left was seeping into my chair space.

It was that good.

I got teary eyed (what?) during "Defying Gravity" and I can't get "Popular" out of my head. Absolutely loved Galinda (the guh is silent) and have deemed her my new favorite musical character.

Tomorrow I'm off to Bakersfield to visit some rigs. Now there's potential for a good blog entry!

Until then, how much do we love WICKED!?!?

Monday, August 20, 2007

Don't Mess with Us

Last week at Grace Bible Church, our preacher wanted to express his gratitude for all the hard work a certain member of the congregation has done in preparation for moving to our new building. He invited Matt up to the front to present him a gift. No…it wasn’t a Bible or even a gift certificate to Chili’s across the street.

I was a shot gun. HELLO!
Dove season is in a few weeks people!

To quote West: “For those of you who are visiting from out-of-state…welcome to Texas.”

We really aren't as country as it sounds. I'm just saying...

Tales of a Former Jungle Cruise Skipper: Volume 1

“Welcome to the world famous Jungle Cruise. My name is Lincee and for the next few weeks, I’ll be your Jungle Cruise skipper. I’ll also be your alligator wrestler, snake charmer, lion tamer…and if you don’t laugh at my jokes—quite possibly your swimming instructor!”

[Pause for laughs.]

Yes, in 1998, yours truly donned an extremely monochromatic uniform consisting of khaki shorts, shirt and safari hat, while bravely guiding Disney guests through dangerous rivers around the globe. And I loved every minute of that terrible, terrible spiel.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Before I treat you with the hilarity from backstage of the Jungle Cruise and Walt Disney World, I must confess that I did not start out as a super cool skipper.

After interviewing for a summer internship at Magic Kingdom with my dear friend Jill, we were excited to find out that we had not only landed the job, but would be working an attraction!

Our first day in orientation was exciting. We opened our packets to find that we were in separate lands…Jill in Adventure and me in Fantasy. Jill went off to be a Jungle Cruise skipper. She was funny and energetic…just what they needed. I was so disappointed that I couldn’t be a skipper too.

You see, there are a few attraction jobs at Disney that come with a certain reputation. Aside from characters, most cast members aspire to one day be a skipper or a pirate. A skipper because it’s fun. And a pirate because…it’s just plain cool.

While Jill was off shooting hippos and getting squirted by elephants, I was running attractions in Fantasyland. Or Fantasy Hell as it was known to those in my inner circle. Not just one ride…but FIVE! I can tell you everything you need to know about the inner workings of Snow White, Peter Pan, Dumbo, the Teacups and Cinderella’s Carrousel. I was absolutely miserable.

I longed for the “stage” that the Jungle Cruise could provide as a creative outlet. I did not sign up for this gig just to say, “How many? Row two. How many? Row three.” while pushing green buttons to make the ride go. My heart really was convinced that I had been misplaced.

After numerous complaints to several managers and a little finagling by Jill to her JC bosses, I was OUT OF FANTASY HELL just two weeks after entering its gates. Nice!

I was home in the jungle. I flourished in the jungle. I made many friends in the jungle.

Disney offered me a ton of fond memories that I will be sharing here for your reading pleasure. Check back often for more tales from the six months I spent working at Disney World. Experience the shocking behind-the-scenes moments my innocent eyes witnessed. Join me as I re-live the time the rather large woman fell on me at the handicapped entrance of Peter Pan.

Until then,

“Off your seats and on your feets…back out to those Magic Kingdom streets. Make sure you catch the three o’clock parade. If you do catch it…let it go. It will drag you all the way to Main Street. Go on and watch your step. Watch your head. Watch your step. Watch your head. If you happen to miss your step and hit your head…lower your voice and watch your language. This is a family attraction and we’d like to keep it that way.”

So There I Was

On a rig in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico…

Costa Rica

On January 1, 2007, I sat down at my kitchen table and made a list of goals I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year. The usual suspects (lose weight, eat healthier, read more) were all there, but they seemed so surface. I needed a bigger goal…a deeper goal.

I had a random idea pop into my head about a month later. I made a mental note to check and see when the next church mission trip would be held. To my surprise, an announcement was made the following Sunday regarding an exciting opportunity. I found my new goal.

My trip to Costa Rica was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. But I was anxious leading up to the departure. Where are we staying? Will there be plugs? I certainly don’t need a hair dryer to plug in…who cares…but what about my portable DVD player and iPod? Should I bring toilet paper? I don’t speak Spanish. Surely that is going to hinder what it is that I’m supposed to be doing, right? How am I going to make a difference in the lives of these people?

Little did I know that God would bless me each minute of every day until I finally realized that it is not about me. His love is bigger than my comprehension. I was humbled to witness that laugher, music, soccer, stickers and hugs are universal. Without the prayers and support of my family and friends, I would not have had the pleasure to directly witness God’s love and the work He is doing within the Connexion ministry in Costa Rica. For that I am truly grateful.

Blockbuster Movie Replay: Summer 2007

Most of you may know that I screen movies as a way to make a little extra cash on the side. Although I’m not the main screener, I am occasionally called up from JV to play in the Varsity game. This year was no exception. I’ve seen pretty much everything worth seeing.

It was the summer of the blockbuster. The summer of the three-quel. The summer that broke all previous movie records.

And it was the summer I developed a significant crush on a few of the silver screen’s leading men.

As you may recall, summer 2007 had many attractive actors that the average girl would gladly race to her local multiplex to see on a 60-foot screen. Pirates brought us Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Ahoy matey indeed! My fake boyfriend John Krasinski tried to get his License to Wed with Mandy Moore. The movie? Let’s just go ahead and insert a Jim Halpert face HERE. (We still love you John!) We wondered why there was so much focus on the Transformers instead of more scenes with Josh Duhamel without his shirt on. Raise your hand if you leaned over to your girlfriend during Live Free or Die Hard to whisper, “Bruce Willis is HOT!” Oh…and who could forget the cast of Ocean’s Thirteen?

It’s a pretty good list, right?

Sure it is. But it was at the end of the summer that I developed my crush...

On Harry Potter and Link Larkin!

Harry is growing up and is so cute. (STOP JUDGING!) The kiss between him and Cho Chang was adorable…love the part about the nargles. (YOU DON’T KNOW ME!) And I’ve seen Hairspray three times and bought the soundtrack the day it came out in the stores. (THAT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR SOMEONE MY AGE.) When Link sings “Tracy I’m in love with you” in “Without Love” I switch the name to Lincee. That’s not weird, is it? (OKAY…THE FIRST STEP IS ADMITTING THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!)

The problem is that I still see myself at or around the age of 24. I pondered if my “enthusiasm” should be a legitimate concern of mine…sure it was a crush, but an unhealthy one? Is this something I should bring up to my therapist in our next session?

Luckily, I went to see a movie last week and have been redeemed. Jason Bourne was added to the list of summer crushes. A real man! Oh to be that hand towel he wrapped around that dude’s neck in the bathroom scene.


When calculating the average age of my crushes, you get the number 25. And since that falls into my dating range, I’m no longer categorizing this as an unhealthy crush.

It’s really just about the math.

The Name Game

A few years ago, I started recapping ABC’s reality show The Bachelor. I would sit/lay on my comfy couch and stare in awe and bewilderment at my TV as the train wreck unraveled before me. I would laugh, gasp, hide my face in embarrassment behind a cushion, take notes and generally write about the wonder that is The Bachelor.

A few people checked the website out and suggested that I write a personal blog. I have to admit, it had crossed my mind. Thus, was born.

I know what you are thinking…

You too hate green beans.

Who doesn’t? That’s why the title is sheer brilliance.

I chose the name because, let’s face it, who in the world would remember how to spell my name in a blog title? Not that I don’t like my name…I do. And not that there wasn’t a time when I didn’t like it…there was.

Picture it:
The year was 1984. My older sister and I were shopping at TG&Y with my Mom. We were in the school supplies section when my sister discovers an entire display of personalized pencils. She twirls the display around to the middle of the alphabet and shouts with 12-year-old glee at the sight of her name! I, having to copy everything Jamie did my entire life, continue to search and search in the Ls. There was no Lincee.

I remember how the tears stung my jealous eyes.

Jamie, of course, paraded her pencil in front of me every chance she got. My mother at least tried to alleviate some of my pain. She used paint pen on a boring yellow number two and tried to pass it off as the same kind of cool as Jamie’s pencil.

I didn’t buy it.

That same year, I won the Citizen Bee award at Hallsville Elementary. When the principal called my name in front of the entire school at assembly, my teacher had to punch me in the arm and encourage me to go to the front of the auditorium. This puzzled me because my name hadn’t been called. Some girl named Linky was the winner…not me!

Pretty much from fourth grade on, I was Linky. Which changed to Slinky. Which was later shortened to Slink in my glorious high school years.

But I digress.

I really do hate green beans. And all my other unique titles were already taken by Google bloggers.

So this marks the inaugural posting of the rambling tales and random thoughts that creep into my brain.

This is Slinky. And this is my blog.